I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
