Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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(512): View more from Texas

You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

(1-913): View more from Kansas

What?!

(913): View more from Kansas

Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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(678): View more from Georgia

Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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(415): View more from California

I did not marry a roomba.

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