the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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