Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize