There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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