Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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