And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
