i think my tv is drunk
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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