Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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