maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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