look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
