Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
