11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
