if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm just crazy horny about you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
