Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
