I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
