Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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