Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize