If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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