Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
A bitchslap is in order.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
