I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
