Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
