Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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