Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to make a zoo with you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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