Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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