I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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