Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
