Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My breasts were aching with rage.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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