I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
