I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
