Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
