opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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