Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
