Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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