my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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