There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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