Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
