Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
