You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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