I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My ass is underappreciated
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
