Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
