Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
