I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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