another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
