i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
