I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
