Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
