I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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