Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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