he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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