do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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