i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize