i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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