remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
