oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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