You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
