Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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