Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
