i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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