They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
