it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
