I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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