i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
