I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
