It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
