college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize