Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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