I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
