Got a toothbrush?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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