About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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