im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Little spoons don't ask big questions
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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