If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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