I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
