Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
